900 candles

In this performance I am using 900 candles as an image for 900 days. Blindfolded am trying to find my hope again. In a standing position I am trying to light the candles that are spread out on the floor in front of me, unsure of the extent of my success in doing so. A dead fish is tied to my arm. It represents the feeling that me and my wife Kurdistan have already died. She spoke to me about constantly experiencing a feeling of dying. At the same time In this performance I show a video. In this video I am running 900 times across the room. I tried to portray the number of days since I last saw my wife. By this seemingly never-ending repetition, I evoke my everyday existence since I am in exile, away from her. I am helpless, confronted with this situation. I could move to Germany, but she is still stuck Iraqi Kurdistan. Since three years we are waiting to be reunited. Meanwhile, the distance forces us to deny our sexual and affective needs My health has been substantially affected by these circumstances. A plastic bag is entangled with my right thigh. It is artificial and doesn’t belong to my body, yet I can’t get rid of it. It is a weight that frightens me and slows me down. This bag symbolises repressive politics I’m continuously faced with, I stand naked and vulnerable. As long as my wife is away from me, I live in a state of misery.